Some people seem to have adopted Karen Carpenter’s “Close to You” as their personal vehicular theme song.

These bovine souls apparently think they’re being sociable and congenial when they drive right alongside you.  They’re especially likely to do this when the roads get slick with rain or ice, and everybody desperately needs more room to maneuver.

Cling-ons of this type also like to tuck themselves into the places diagonally behind you, where they’re the most difficult to see in your mirrors.  They’ll hang there like barnacles on a boat, no matter whether you adjust your speed up or down, which of course does wonders for your ability to change lanes or otherwise adapt to traffic.

Is there a social club that might help these misguided lonelyhearts channel their urges in less perilous ways?  Or in the interests of public safety, could we maybe establish emergency "hug stations" for them at roadside rest stops?