I know it’s a tough business, in which something like 90% of new establishments quickly go belly up.  But The Donald has a certain inherent magical touch about him.  And to be realistic, a restaurant at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue might actually hold considerable appeal for a certain subset of the trendoid population—especially if there were a reasonable possibility that The Great Man himself might from time to time emerge among their unworthy midst, presenting them with a potentially life-changing opportunity to practice their sycophantry.

Such a restaurant might also include a souvenir shop, where Trump could unload more of those autographed Bibles of his, along with other cherished mementos for the faithful.  He might also offer package deals that would include a round of golf at one of his other properties—or offer this treat as part of a loyalty program for exceptionally regular customers.  After all, the guy’s nothing if not enterprising.

But upon more sober reflection, I’m compelled to question the likelihood of these possibilities actually materializing.  In the final analysis, Trump would be running a business out of a restaurant—just like the archetypal mafia don.  And wouldn’t any President of the United States worthy of the title go to the ends of the earth to avoid tarnishing his sterling image by appearing to in any way even resemble a mobster?  Let’s be sensible, and swiftly put this image out of our minds.