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and immediately afterward?
I dropped in on the Catholic church nearest to me
early one Friday evening shortly afterward.
Inside
at the front, a small group of people appeared to be getting things
ready for a wedding. Scattered among the pews were maybe half
a
dozen laypeople like myself. I chose a place fairly far away
from
everyone else.
After simply sitting quietly in the church
for a time, I closed my eyes and began to “mentally speak,” in the way
I typically do when praying in public places like airports. I
thanked St. Erlembaldo for all he had done for the people of Milan and
beyond, and asked him to help me become more like him, and thereby set
a good example for my kids.
Not long after I finished, I had one
of those thoughts that didn’t feel like they were entirely my own that
I’d had decades before, when I was considering playing a song that
might comfort my girlfriend as she dealt with the impending death of
her dad.
This time, the thought consisted of just two words: “Stand
up.”
It wasn’t the sort of idea that would normally have occurred to
me.
I worried a bit about what might come next. Would I be told
to
wave my arms around, or start speaking in tongues, or…what?
As I
rose from the pew, I felt glad that I wasn’t in an Episcopal church. Catholics did a lot of physical stuff that we
didn’t—crossing themselves, genuflecting, and whatnot—so maybe I
wouldn’t get too many strange looks for doing whatever was next on the
agenda.
To my great surprise and relief, the next thought-words I “heard” were
simply that I should walk back out of the church.
Once
outside, I got the sense that I should go home. I fudged a
bit on
that, realizing that I needed to pick up some food for dinner, and
attending to that first. But I didn’t get the feeling that by
doing so, I might miss out on some sort of short-lived dramatic
spectacle of burning bushes, or whatever.
As I pulled up to my
driveway, I got a further sense that I should go outside on my
balcony. I went along with that, too. The
condominium
complex where I lived was on a bit of a hill, and my unit was on the
third floor, so I could see a significant chunk of my own town, as well
as others farther to the west, stretching for mile upon mile.
The
rooftops and trees spread out before me were bathed in the golden glow
of a summer sky not long before sunset.
The thoughts of uncertain origin stopped at this point.