After some time went by,  I thought of how God had been described as not only a father, but also a perfect being.  Now, I knew damn well that I was a far better father to my own kids than the man who had raised me.  And if God was like my father, how could I, in my own poor, fallible human way, be better than a perfect being?  The proposition didn’t make any sense.

Then it began to dawn on me that God was probably quite a bit different from my father. 

With this change in perceptions, I was able to comfortably start praying to him.  It quickly became something I did every morning and every night.
 
It’s a practice I’ve continued to this day.  I find that it centers and calms me, and prepares me to deal with people and challenges in better ways.  As a result, I’d rather leave the house without my pants than without this preparation.
 
For whatever interest anyone might have in what this practice entails, I say only two prayers that are commonly known—the Lord’s Prayer to begin with, and the serenity prayer to wrap it up.  Everything in between is stuff I’ve come up with on my own.  It’s not in any way weird or cultish.  Mainly I pray for specific other people, or for all of us.  There are only two prayers in which I ask for anything for myself.

First, I ask “Please guide me with the dogs and the kids, and in all areas where there could be love in my life.  Help me to know and to do what’s best.”

The other is “Please continue to take me to you, and to heal me, and teach me to trust, and to accept.  Help me to appreciate people, and to connect with them, and to see where they’re best able to accept what I have to give, and to see and accept what they have to give, and to use the abilities you’ve given me well.”

As for questions of who and/or what God is, at this point in my recovery from addiction, I didn’t even pretend to know.