Joints R Us

 

by John Marran

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Have you noticed all these hospital advertisements?  Hospitals are starting to specialize,  much in the fashion of the automotive industry.  You know:  Spiffy Lube, Transmissions To Go, Just Say Tires, Mufflers Only, etc.  Hospitals seem to be doing the same.  Some concentrate on hearts;  some on diseases;  some on transplants;  some on particular kinds of cancer;  some on joint replacement;  some on emergency care--you get the idea. 

Don’t you pity the poor devil whose heart attacks him and he winds up in a Joints-Are-Us facility?

DOCTOR:   What did you say his problem is?

NURSE:                    Something to do with an organ.

DOCTOR:   Can’t you be more specific?  I remember them telling us in Med school that there were a lot of those damn things.  Some of them were pretty important, too.

NURSE:                    I think it’s the big one in the chest.

DOCTOR:   There’s a bunch of them there: the heart, the lungs, the kidneys.  Help me out here.

NURSE:                    Let’s ask him.

DOCTOR:   Oh, great!  That’ll really make us look good.

NURSE:                    No.  Ask him the routine stuff:   So, how are we feeling today?  Do you have any pain?  Where are you stiff?  No, strike that one.  That’s the joint question.

DOCTOR:   OK.  Let’s give it a try.

(c) COPYRIGHT 2001 JOHN MARRAN.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.