Joints R Us
by John Marran
Have you noticed all these hospital advertisements? Hospitals are starting to specialize, much in the fashion of the automotive industry. You know: Spiffy Lube, Transmissions To Go, Just Say Tires, Mufflers Only, etc. Hospitals seem to be doing the same. Some concentrate on hearts; some on diseases; some on transplants; some on particular kinds of cancer; some on joint replacement; some on emergency care--you get the idea.
Dont you pity the poor devil whose heart attacks him and he winds up in a Joints-Are-Us facility?
DOCTOR: What did you say his problem is?
NURSE: Something to do with an organ.
DOCTOR: Cant you be more specific? I remember them telling us in Med school that there were a lot of those damn things. Some of them were pretty important, too.
NURSE: I think its the big one in the chest.
DOCTOR: Theres a bunch of them there: the heart, the lungs, the kidneys. Help me out here.
NURSE: Lets ask him.
DOCTOR: Oh, great! Thatll really make us look good.
NURSE: No. Ask him the routine stuff: So, how are we feeling today? Do you have any pain? Where are you stiff? No, strike that one. Thats the joint question.
DOCTOR: OK. Lets give it a try.
(c) COPYRIGHT 2001 JOHN MARRAN. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.