The Interview (3)

With a burst of static followed by what sounded like a snatch of mechanical speech, the screen broke down into partial pixilation once again.  In the odd moment of privacy this afforded, Justin drew back and gave his head a small shake.  What exactly was this guy?

“Hardly anybody gets a bronze statue of them put up in the park these days,” Garrett continued as the screen cleared up.   “The parts of you that you leave in your work can be a pretty good legacy, though.”

This wasn’t anything like what Justin had expected to encounter in a job interview.
 
And yet…it was exactly the kind of practical life-wisdom that Justin wished his own father had been able to share with him.   He felt strangely drawn to the man.

“And really, there’s no shame in being chosen for something other than your brain.  Some people become an organization’s liver or kidneys—they keep it free of toxins and other things that could sicken or even kill it.  Others give their mouths or vocal chords.  Without them, the company couldn’t communicate effectively with the world.”

Ridgemore shifted his weight to one side.  “Me, I’ve given it my legs.”  He gazed almost humbly up at the camera.  “That may not sound like much, I know.  But the fact is, every policy and innovation and idea needs to be actively, physically carried out and followed up on.  That’s what my legs have given this company.”

Justin found nothing to be apologetic about in this.  Genuine respect now registered in his eyes.

“The thing is,” continued Garrett, “you have be fringdle blatter chunk spff  gnarr aawwkk…”

As his voice became progressively more garbled, the screen image broke down correspondingly.  This time, many of the rectangles were so large that Justin could see they were fragments of a different picture altogether.
 
…Gznakky ollen brobdle svee…

Random squares afforded a glimpse of a cavernous dark place, writhing and crawling with bits of strange life forms.

Snavannah mealy bakes Omnivore Enkerplises stein dismally mows… 

Wait!  It wasn’t many different creatures at all!  They were all part of a single body…

Snowshoe fee, Justin, bat ven dun voddy churns OW theme…

An enormous, grotesquely misshapen gray-green organism of vaguely humanoid nature filled the screen—its massive head lolling spastically on a body that, bloated beyond the worst extremes of morbid obesity, lacked the strength to support it.  Additional body parts were crudely affixed everywhere, as if a demented Dr. Frankenstein had been playing Mr. Potato Head.   Arrays of internal organs protruded, hemorrhoid-like, through a warty and ulcerous skin.  An assemblage of tiny, churning legs resembling a centipede protruded from the chin, struggling with limited success to raise the head and move it in the direction most of the eyes seemed to be looking. 

Miniature arms sprouted like tentacles of a sea anemone from the most improbable places—including the head, where at least seven of them surrounded the largest eye, attempting to keep it open under the slippery weight of one enormous adipose eyelid.

When the creature opened its largest orifice to reveal a dark, drool-stringed maw crawling with partially-chewed bits of young people, Justin’s eyes rolled upward into their sockets and he lost consciousness.