A Ray of Hope?
Gentle readers of the female persuasion, as I've laid bare my heart, have you seen nothing resembling the contents of your own? Have I said anything with which you truly could not feel so much as a glimmer of identification?
When you get right down to it, are we really all that different?
If we're not, then why is it so often difficult for our genders to "get" each other?
Perhaps it might be possible to achieve a major breakthrough in understanding between the sexes, if we could just find a way to redirect some of the neural pathways for sex and football.
--Well, maybe. On closer examination, there appear to be a lot of ways for an experiment like this to go horribly wrong. For example, we wouldn’t want women becoming unable to reach orgasm because they were distracted by concerns about the relative abilities of zone vs. man-to-man defenses to properly safeguard "their boys." We also already have an oversupply of jokes about men watching other men run around in tight pants. And it should further be noted that in a poll, the majority of wives have already reported that, if given a choice between sex and football, their husbands would pick football.
Regrettably, given the potential for more drastic measures to produce tragically unforeseen consequences, perhaps the best thing a woman can do is simply to recognize how effective football can be at bringing out her man’s virtuous monogamistic side, and encourage him to watch as many of his team’s games as possible.
Tough medicine? Possibly.
But I say let's give love a chance.